Think Before You Speak

A new year, a new...me? I suppose it's not likely that I'll change all that much this year, but there are definitely some changes I'd like to consciously make. I had already been thinking about how I need to speak with more purpose and intention. Frivolously spewing out any thought that comes to mind isn't appreciated. Nor do I like how I feel after I say some things that come out unfiltered. Then a long time friend angrily lashed out at me after I made a sarcastic comment to her. My first reaction was defensive. "You know me," I thought. "I would never say anything to offend you." Reflecting on what I said, though it was indeed misleading, I think it was sort of a compliment. Obviously she did not see it that way and apparently that wasn't the first time I had said something like that. Realizing that the way I chose to phrase my words could indeed be perceived as negative, I quickly and sincerely apologized. Again, I didn't speak intentionally or purposefully. I spoke sarcastically and rash. Another example of how I want to change the way I speak had slapped me in the face. In my heart, I have a large, loving, accepting, and compassionate place that allows me to love people I meet. As I've grown older and seen a trend of behaviors, that place in my heart has seemed to lose patience. I'm more likely to love others at a distance simply because I don't want what I think their behaviors tell me about them influence my life, or worse, my child's life. Perhaps by actively considering things I say before words come tumbling out of my mouth, I can help to soften my own heart toward people again. I don't remember where we heard it, but Adam reminded me of a quote when I told him this was a goal of mine. The quote goes, "Speak to people like you are praying for them." I love that! Prayer starts with faith, meekness, humility, and compassion. Praying for someone renders a heart to serve them. As Jasper gets closer to the age where his language will quickly develop, I know I need to be an example. The words I choose, the way I speak them, and the purpose behind them WILL shape and influence Jasper. Even though that confrontation with my friend is still unsettling to me, it has strengthened my resolve to do better. So if I say something to you that is not loving or intentional or purposeful, PLEASE tell me...gently. We are all imperfect. I am trying. I need gentle reminders, but again, be gentle. I know the Lord will help me too, for my desire to improve is a righteous desire and perhaps one that will assist me in sharing Christ's love. He will assist you in your righteous efforts too. Happy New You Year!